Intact

I love my boys. I love them to death. I never thought that I would be a mama to two boys. I thought I would definitely have girls, and really girly girls at that. Thankfully God had different plans for me.

Bear was born in the early Spring of 2006. We had decided almost right away to keep the sex of the baby a surprise. For the first bit of my pregnancy I thought I was having a boy. Then everyone who saw me told me I was "SO having a girl". From gut feelings, to dreams, to that stupid Chinese Astrological chart - it all said GIRL GIRL GIRL!! There was only one reason I wanted a girl - because my husband and I already had a name sort of picked out. We absolutely didn't agree on any boy names. I'm more traditional, he's more..... well more...... he likes the top names from the 1970's. We still didn't have a name for Bear when I was in labour, with completely different tastes. He was convinced a boy named William (Will) would come out donning a sweater vest, and a thick English accent. A few minutes after Bear was born, as they were stitching me up (thanks for coming out with your hand over your face!) I suggested a name, and it fit.

Squirrel is a different story. We knew he was going to be a boy. They gave us this little picture of a stork to give to the ultrasound tech. I guess it was a fun way of saying "Yes, please tell us the sex of our baby." We wanted to know - for planning purposes, and just to see what it was like to know all along if we were having a boy or a girl. The tech. said "Wow, you're going to have a lot of testosterone in the house." My husband's response was - "huh?" Right over his head! Our poor little dude didn't have a name for nearly 48 hours. We had 5 months and STILL couldn't agree!

The one thing we did agree on is that our boys would remain intact. There was no way anyone was going to be cutting the foreskin off my baby's penis.

I just don't understand how someone could put their baby through something so harrowing. For what? Because it's easier to keep clean? ppft. So they may have to exert a bit of effort and pull back some skin when they soap up in the shower? When he is an infant, you don't pull the skin back. There's no wound to keep clean, no risk of infection.

Or my favourite - "so he can look the same as his dad". OK - by the time the boy has a penis that is the same size of his dad's he won't be seeing his dad's penis. He won't want to even know if his dad is cut or uncut. I mean, do women wax themselves hairless so they look the same as their little girls? One woman said that she did it so that he wouldn't have a weird looking penis. Nope, make that "funny looking pee pee". She said that cut penises look better. Getting your child circumcised because *it looks better* is called plastic surgery. To do this to a child is just reprehensible. Imagine if some man was on the news because he made his daughter get a boob job, because big boobs are nice. He'd get lynched (rightfully so).

Circumcision is no longer routine in Canada. There are two different stats. that I came up with, both for circumcision rates in the province that I live in. One was 6%, the other was 20%. It is no longer free in Canada either. Some doctors won't even tell you where to get it done, you have to do the research yourself. This is a step in the right direction - but just a step.

It shouldn't be allowed. Period. I understand that some families do it for religious purposes but I still feel that it is wrong. Leave an infant's body the way God created it, and let him decided what he wants to do himself.

Our Trip to McPuke's

Last Friday was the first sunny day we had seen in a long time. Both kids were sick of being inside. We had overdone the malls, the bouncy castle and the library. Actually, I was avoiding the library. Six late DVDs = $9 in late charges.

After a failed attempt to play at a flooded out playground I took the kids to McDonalds. I don't like going there. The food isn't that great. I don't even bother to read the cheeseburger wrapper. Do I really want to know that it has 400 calories and 400 grams of fat?

Bear and Squirrel like to go because they like the taste of crappy hamburgers. Deep fried french fries sure beat my attempt at baked fries. And then there is that great big germ infested climbing structure. One of my kids peed in there once. We told the manager and a very grumpy teenage boy had to climb in there and clean it up. We wondered "how many kids have peed, or barfed up there, and nobody bothered to tell anyone?" I feel like slathering the kids with Purell when I get home.

I was happy to see that aside from us there was only a set of grandparents and their curly haired granddaughter in the room. The grandmother looked at me with wide eyes and a big smile. "They've blocked the top" she greeted me.

"The top?" I wondered. "You mean they can't climb up there?"

Her eyes grew wider and she said with a nod. "Yes, they've blocked it." She drew up the word 'blocked'. Blooooooooocked it.

"Why?" I asked.

Then both grandparents told me how unsafe it was - it could topple, the child could fall, blah blah blah. That's when Bear shouted "Hey Mommy, I'm at the top!" He poked his blond little head out a window of the house that was the top of the structure.

"How'd you get up there? Isn't it blocked?" I asked.

"I don't think so. I just climbed and got to the top! I'm sliding down now." and he squeaked down the slide.

That was the a-ha moment. Grandma's pants were on fire. I turned to here and she smiled weakly. "I guess its not blocked. I guess we were wrong."

Sure. OK. I thought.

"I guess so" I muttered.

She had a hard time explaining to her granddaughter why Bear got to the top, why she was wrong about it being blocked and why the little girl couldn't go up there.

"You'll get stuck. It's too hard" the grandmother said. I quietly offered to go up and get her if she did get stuck. The grandmother said that the girl better not. Then she told me this story -

Her grandson who was 4 had gone on one of the structures and was too afraid to come down. Personally I didn't blame him. I hate going in there. It's claustrophobic, sticky, and did I mention really, really, high? And that the big kids like to rock it sometimes? I don't know how kids do it.

Anyway, grandson is in the structure and was too afraid to come down. Daddy had to go up and rescue him. I think every parent has had to venture into that thing at one point, to the rescue. My dear husband plays in it for goodness sake. What she said after that is what upset me. When her grandson got home you better believe that he was spanked. She said this with an approving nod.

This made me angry on so many levels. For starters the little guy was spanked. Why people still think this is OK, is beyond me. If my husband decked me for making a mistake I can name ten people that would beat his sorry ass down. Not to mention, if I called the cops he would be arrested. It's called assault. If someone confides in a friend that they were hit by their spouse they are urged to leave, and leave quickly. Sadly, if a child confides in an adult that they were spanked, the adult would most likely ask "What did you do?" If your girlfriend got slapped across the face by her partner would you say "Well, what did you do?" No, you'd said "Lets chop of his balls."

For some very sad reason people think spanking is an appropriate tool for discipline. Some say it's biblical (it's not). Sure, the boy may have never got stuck in the climbing structure again. But at what cost? What sort of lesson does a child learn? That when you are afraid don't count on Dad to help you? If you make a mistake, don't admit it, because you'll get hurt?

Children are people and they deserve the same rights as we do. We need to be more vigilant about protecting those rights. They are too small to defend themselves.

I have to say that I was very relieved that they decided to leave at that moment. I wishing I had the guts to speak my mind, yet trying to hold back because I had a very nasty remark in mind.

We left soon after, and enjoyed the rest of our afternoon.

Getting of my soapbox to make some tea........

Oh, the things I'm not supposed to do....

I do them all! Like.....

Co-sleeping

We started that by accident. The first night we brought Bear home from the hospital I didn't want to leave him in his crib, all alone down the hall. So, we made a cosy little nest in our laundry basket and he slept next to us until he was three weeks old. Then he got too big. So, he slept next to us. It was so convenient, so easy, and he slept well. I didn't tell anyone we were doing this. I felt weird, like I was doing something really, really bad. He got older and I felt that maybe it was a good time to get him in a crib and let him know who's boss. I spent 5 horrible minutes letting my baby cry it out. It was awful. I tried to pretend I didn't mind. I puttered around the kitchen. But I couldn't stand it. So I scooped him out of his crib, cradled his bald little head and put him to the breast.

He's been in and out of our bed since then. He's almost four. Right now he scorns his "little bed". "I"ll sleep in it when I'm four Mommy." He tells me.

Squirrel has never slept in a crib. We never even set it up. Part of it is in storage. A railing piece is used to keep Brendan from wandering out of the laundry and up the stairs. He's a good sleeper. He spent his first 11 months in the nook of my arm. He napped occasionally in a bassinet, til he outgrew the weight recommendations, faster than I thought he would.

There is a lot of bad press about co-sleeping. 70% of the world co-sleeps. The separate nursery in a Western concept. I didn't know this at first. I thought I was creating a bad habit -until I read Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. We co-sleep safe. It's not for everyone. But it works for us!

Cue Feeding

Also known as feeding on demand. When my baby cried I would feed him. Seems like a simple enough thing to do. There are however, those who think it is wrong. That babies need to know who is in control from day one. So when they cry, you should just let them cry. Why? If you're hungry, you eat. A baby is designed to cry when he is hungry.

Bear nursed for 27 months, until my heavily pregnant body could do it no more. I got over my shyness and went to a Le Leche League meeting to get tips on gently weaning. I am still so grateful for Linda's understanding. I thought I might get lynched for weaning so *soon* ;-). It was a smooth, gentle transition for Bear. At nearly 4 he laughs at the thought that he loved his milkies.

Squirrel is 15 months and going strong. My goal is to give him at least 2 years. Then we'll see. I have trouble picturing him nursing at 3, but I know mamas have done it. Speaking of Squirrel....... he calls.

My very first blog

This is my very first blog. I have so many thoughts bouncing around my head, its driving me crazy. It was suggested to me that I start to blog, to get these thoughts out and to start writing again. I don't like to sugar coat stuff, so here's hoping that I don't offend anyone. And if I do, I'm sorry! I do love you.

I have two boys, Bear who is 4 in April, and Squirrel, who is 2 in October. They are my lights in my life. I feel ever so blessed by God to have this boys as my son. I hope to raise them into good men.

I have a strong opinion on spanking - especially when it's used in the name of God.

I wish I was more natural living, but I'm an urban girl who likes to visit the country. I do want to detoxify my diet and go more organic. I just have to convert my "salt loving you don't make enough KD or sidekicks for dinner or by oreos" husband.

My relationship with God has been up and down. He's been in, and He's been out. I have decided that without him my life is pretty shitty. So here I am.