Brothers

Squirrel came up from behind me, put his arm around my shoulder, and said "Hi See-hot" which means "Hi Sweetheart" in Squirrel language. My heart nearly exploded when he said that. I can't believe how full of happiness and joy my boy is. He walks around with a great big grin ALL THE TIME. He cries when he's been hurt or scared but all in all he's one happy kid.

He kissed me today too. A real kiss, not one of those open mouthed, slobbery, only appreciated by Mama type kisses. Bear was proud, he said "See, I kept showing him how to really kiss." Bear hugs and kisses his brother to no end. The credit is his!

One thing that was vitally important to me was to foster a good relationship between my boys from the start. There is a mom in our playgroup who's kids are twenty months apart. As long as I've known her the older has always beat the crud out of her younger sibling. The hair pulling, arm slapping, karate chops are rampant around those two. Their mother said to me "Someday your boys will be the same, you wait."

Sure, they'll fight. I'm not that delusional. I just feel like they already have a deep connection that will prevent them from picking on each other the way those kids from the play group do. Bear already feels bad when he's wronged his brother. He'll come to me with tears in his eyes and say "I was bad. I hurted my brother." I have him offer a hug, an apology and Squirrel will always hug back. Sometimes Squirrel will even assure Bear in a high-pitched voice that sounds a teeny bit like Mommy's "I forgive you brother". That brings on the giggles, a request to make Squirrel talk again, and the incident is forgotten.

How did I do to try to get them off to a good start? I had Bear talk to Squirrel when he was still in womb. When Squirrel was born we made a big deal about Bear's new role as Big Brother. Sometimes Squirrel would talk to Bear and say "I can't wait til you can show me how to play hotwheels" or "when I'm as big as you can I go on the slide?" When people would ask how Bear liked his brother I let him be honest about how he felt. When our play was interrupted by Squirrel I'd ask Bear if he could help me comfort him. If he didn't want to that was cool. He was happy for the most part, though he did bounce a car off poor baby's head one frustrating afternoon.

Like I said I know they'll fight. I just hope that I've planted some good seeds so that when they do fight, they'll also be able to make amends with ease.

Squirrel is seventeen months old. I asked Bear the other day if he remembered life without his brother. He doesn't. He also told me last night that he loved his brother, and we should never get rid of him.

Good plan!